Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas to one and all....Have a joyful white christmas...
Yes...Itz 25th Dec again.Christmas, a day of joy and celebration.How nice. Woke up like half an hour ago because slept quite late last night.Went for midnight Church.The mass was pretty good, the choir sang well and everything was just so nice.Heehee...I guess I just like goin to church.
Anyway, apart from Christmas..Some little update so far.Today is also the last day of the long off break that we are havin, tonight, everyone is gonna book in for a 3 days work week.How nice plus furthermore tomorrow we are gonna have company cohesion again so basically we only work 2 days.Yeah!!Sweet...Great way to enter a new year.Short work week and lots more of fun.Haha...Ehmm...I took my BM test on 23rd Dec..I guess itz a early Christmas present for me.Guess what??I have passed.Didnt really expect to pass because durin trainin I always failed like 10 seconds or so but that day I just made it on time.So here now I declare..Im a full fledge lifeguard.Ehmm...Dont have to worry about findin a part time job next year when I disrupt because i have a lifesavin cert now.The best thing is i heard the pay is higher.$11 per hour for most clubs.Meanin, i can keep my car.Hahaha....
Well, im not gonna crap much.Itz a Christmas.A day of joy and forgivin.Have a beautiful white christmas everyone out there.Party hard, enjoy yourselves.Itz a day to spend quality time with everyone close..
Merry Christmas once again....
Ciao
Here it goes
Here it goes again.I feel bloggin a way to pour out your sorrows.A way to confide somethings, a way to make you realize how life is 10 years later and of course how much certain things that you done made your life changed.
My last post was kinda a reflection of what my life had become after I left school and how much certain decision I made changed my life.Be it good or bad.Its a sunday again, the routine continues, every hour i have to keep lookin at my watch, remindin myself not to miss the book in timin.How rush every sunday is.Thatz my life for 6 years.Without fail, when itz a book in day, I never failed not to check my watch every hour.Every plans i had on sunday, the timing have got to be strictly followed.How meaningless it is.
Well, today im not gonna post about my sad stories.Itz never gonna end as long as one day im still in the army.Even how much I tried to look on a brighter side, its not gonna help.Today, I will do a random post.Ever wonder how certain things that you said or do affect somebody??Be it physically, mentally or emotionally.And the solution to it is runnin away from the situation??I realize thats what everybody does.When theres a problem, instead of facin it, we run away from it and ignore it.But think again, at the end of the day.We will be thinkin about it there and then again.Makin ourselves feel bad and stupid.Well, I suppose we should one way or another sit down with both parties and solved the misunderstandin or problems.I always agreed that we should not bother with what people have to say or how they affected us, as long as we know that we did nothing wrong.But itz kinda like becomin a trend that everyone iz pretty much bother by it.I mean if you have unhappiness issue, its always better to bring it up instead of thinkin its your own fault and puttin the blame on yourself.Certain things in life we need to rationale and not sittin on your dumb ass and put all the shit on yourself.Who will have the last laugh??
But well, then again everyone have their own mindset on how they wanna handle things.But truely i felt that it isnt alwayz right just to sit and accept that you are wrong.I believe in fightin for my own happiness and fightin for what belongs to me and fightin for whats right.
Ehmm...seriously, i dont know what the fuck im talkin about.Im just wastin my sunday here postin something which has no link.To those who are readin this post, you are wastin your time too..haha...Cant you see that this post doesnt link at all??
God Bless!!
reflection
Hi guyz..I felt like writin something today.Something that has alwayz been botherin me one way or another.Be it im happy or sad.Something that took a turnin point in my life.
Times flies..it has been 6 years since i left school and join the army.A moment of rush, childish decision.Without much thinkin, without much seekin from others, i choose the path to join the army.A tough and rough decision that took a turnin point in my life.It has been a rough 6 years, havin to keep gettin torture by my instructor from BMT to being a trainee in SISPEC to thereafter passin out to be a instructor in SISPEC and now a section commander in 4 SIR.In lifes, everyone will face problems and torture but I feel that the torture was far too much for me to handle.I didnt really like army, the regimental life, the routine throughout the year, yet i signed the contract.10 years of my life bonded by a piece of paper with my signature.Regrets??Yes...
Today, I stepped into Singapore poly with dad to see his examination results.Yes..at his age, he is takin optometry, to gain a standin ground in this field.I really pity him, he only went through PSLE and wasnt really taught in English but still he went for the english base lesson.Havin to come home and asked me what does the chapter means.My heart aches because he is goin through so much to gain a standin ground.Paper is what is needed in Singapore.Thatz all about it.Later, i stepped into ITE HQ.Enquirin about school for myself next year.That lady was givin me a look, i knew it, its not gonna be easy.Nothin is gonna be easy after I stepped into school.The age gap I have with my classmates, me in school uniform again after 6 years.What is my life gonna be??Will it be worse??Therez doubt in my decision.
6 years in the army.I have learnt alot, learnt something that textbook doesnt teach.Learnt something that teachers will never mention in class.I have become an adult.A mature adult at a age of 20.I might be childish at times but i know what i am.Army taught me to be tough.From a quiet boy i was in school to a man or rather a commander who would command the platoon and team to get things done.I have soon become my men's father, mother, brother, sister, friend and commander.Fightin for their welfare, lookin after them in camp and talk to them when they face any problems.Thatz what im capable of now, mulit-role.I was glad that I have learnt all this.Itz never easy to be a commander.I remember the every first batch of trainees i had in SISPEC.Everyone in the section was older than me, everyone was better well-educated than me but I have manage to gain their respect and that was an achievement.
23 this year, and i have full of regrets.Regretted of being too playful in primary school, gettin involved too much with ECA, always skippin classes.Regretted not puttin in the extra effort in secondary school, still again being playful.Regretted joinin the army instead of furtherin my studies, due to stupid decision.Who can I blame??No one...i can only blame myself for being so playful when i suppose to be serious.Now lookin back at what i have done , i felt so damn ashamed of myself.I always felt inferior with people around me, people who are better off than me.People said theres still time to be better but look at it i dont.There isnt much time left, my youth is fadin soon.I see each and every of my friends doin much better than me i felt jealous, i felt useless.But then again who do i have to blame??I wanna drift futher apart from them because i dont belong to their group.I know shit about what they are sayin.Every weekend before I book in, i see people my age enjoyin outside and i have to rush back to camp.The feelin sucks.What a freakin routine i have.Whenever the trainin gets tough, the freakin feelin comes back again.Especially so with the freakin 13.5kg missile on my back and the distance that i have to walk.I almost break down everytime because i cant take the weight, my leg is givin me problem again.My knee cap is gone, now i cant walk long distance if not my knee will start achin and the pain is unbearable.But what can i do??I cant break down infront of my men, even how painful it is i still have to push on.I dont have a choice.
Why??Why did i ended my life this way.Itz too late to think and wantin to turn back time.I just have to accept to the life that im havin now.Maybe thatz what was planned for me.God, wantin to test how tough i can go.But seriously, im not that strong, im gonna break down soon.Im so tired, so tired with work and stuff.Lucky, i have a bunch of nice friends in camp who can understand me.I have long given up my friends in school, the keep in touch thingy is bullshit.They will only find you when they need your help.Now that everyone had achieved what they wanted, they freakin forget about you.Thatz life, or maybe they simply just choose their friends.Im not too well-educated to be in their freakin friends list.I dont care much.Im used to it...
Guyz, this post is kinda a reflection of what i felt most of the time.Be it happy or sad.Even how confidence a person is, there is a certain level of inferior within peers.Thats the fact.Its impossible to get it change overnight.Sometimes, it just how the people around you affect how you feel.Their desire to achieve something so much, their desire to be top in everythin and stuff.Oh well, life is cruel, life is heartless.You dont worked hard, you dont gain anythin.
God bless!!
updates again
Wazzup!!What a openin.Been quite some time since I used such openings.Anyway, welcome everyone into the last month of the year.How time flies.Well, itz been closed to 2 weeks since I last blog.I was neither busy nor my computer played a prank on me, im just damn lazy to blog once again.Since when was I not lazy.
Alright...Proper updates now.Itz been quite a nice 2 weeks I must say.I did nothing much in camp and every week from now till new year is a 3 workin week.How nice..But whats the price to pay??A good result at the end of the evaluation.Oh well, which commander doesnt want a good result.After sloggin for 2 years and we have almost come to an end.Even if we have to die, we will produces a good result.Anyway, back to the updates.Im halfway through my Stress and Rescue diver course.Yes!!Meanin im gonna be a rescue diver in no time.How sweet!!Lifesaving BM test on the 23 Dec..Not really prepared yet, dont asked me why, im just not prepared at all.Guess what??I found one of my primary school friend.Haha...Yeah!!After so long, isnt it wonderful to find your friends back in primary school again.I have wonderful memorises when im in primary school, the stupid things that we always do.Haha..
Therez just too many off days that I didnt plan much of it.I dont know what should I do every single day of my off.Sigh...Well, Christmas is round the corner.Yes!!Im not really lookin forward to it but I kinda like christmas.Its the only holiday that my family celebrate.How weird..Whats a chinese if they dont celebrate chinese new year??Haha...Im lookin for the new year too, so that i can get the evaluation done with and go for my week long dive trip to Manila or maybe Langkawi..My life is startin to become interestin especially if therez divin involved.
I have a short term memory.I cant really remember what i did for the past 2 weeks except goin for the dive.The weekdays and last weekends i cant really picture it.Well, maybe im just too die.Dad said that my activities and work will worn me out and I ought to take a rest.I cant keep burning myself at work from Monday to Friday and weekends on sports.Yup..maybe after the BM test i will take a break, tone down alittle.But i still wanna do rock climbin.The dame weather is pretty sucky.Sigh.....
Guyz, enjoy your weekend.I have no idea what else to update, I will pretty much end up crappin further instead of sayin something sensible.Haha
Godspeed!!
