disappointed week

Yo peeps...once again the week has come to an end and itz the start of a borin weekend that im gonna have again.Itz been 2 weeks and things are still the same.

Yesterday was suppose to be the platoon off but i was on duty or rather i changed my duty.Was suppose to do today but well therez someone who is willin to change with me so why not??Thursday was the Division Dinnin-in at suntec ballroom.Went there in military Number 2, kinda troublsome to wear it but well no choice gotta wear.Itz kinda grand event as Chief of Army was there.The dinner was not like a normal weddin dinner itz pretty formal or should i say troublesome.Once we entered the ballroom we cant leave the ballroom till the whole event end.Thatz the rule of the dinnin-in.I cant really explain thur typin but itz a experinces to keep thou I cant attend it anymore because im leavin.

So the week was just like the same.Disappointed week,sad week and confused week.Why am i feelin this way??I though i was really to put aside what i was thinkin and wanted but i cant.Certain things we just cant lie to oursleves.Do i felt like this before??"NO"..i hate feelin this way.Was it my fault??I dont know.whose right whose wrong??Was it wrong to fight for what we wanted??I have been thinkin alot and question marks around me.Thou i had some good time this week but was it enough??"NO" it was not really enough.Everyone know that.I cant find my way to that passage way which leads to happiness.Everyone is pourin cold water on me.What have i done wrong??Was my thinkin too much to handle or was it all wrong??I just dont feel like doin anything for the whole week.Dont feel like workin,sleepin,eatin,just anything.What tough times i didnt go thur before??I have been thur the toughest time in my life but still i cant overcome this obstacle.Was i askin too much or there iz something wrong with me??

Why people cant be true to themselves??Do we have to go through all the sufferin before realizin whats good for ourself??Do we have to bother what others have to say or think about us??Are they the one who give us happiness and choose our lives??Im feelin uneasy this few days, something that i dont feel for a long period of time.My life now is like a gamble.Im gamblin every minute of my life lookin for ways to solve things.But i cant find the answer.Am i goin bonkers??YES..im goin bonkers.I hated this feelin but nobody could help.

Guyz, I felt that this world is scary, human is scary too.What they call 'feeling' can actually cause someone to go bonkers.It can change ones mood and the way they think.Can leopard changes itz spot??Can someoone who have committed a mistake turn over a new leaf and never to commit the same mistake again??Im playin mind game this week.Or rather everyone is playin mind game with me this week.I really cant overcome myself through my own thinkin and solve the problem.Must i be evil to get what i want??Does good guy alwayz be at the losin end??God, you are foolin me again.Playin with me and puttin me into a test that i drag myself not to fight for cause i know im winnin but then again when i was winnin you threw me down and make me back to where i started.Now things just dont favour me and come my way.Who do I blame??YOU??

Cheers