Gone..a day to rmbr
Yo peeps, here i am again..today 18 Oct 2006 at 1259 hrs i wanna mark it in my calendar.A day to remember once again.A painful decision i have to make for everyone to be happy.Theres no doubt about it.Playin a good guy doesnt pay off.The sarcifices that you make to make things better doesnt moved anyone around you.
After 1 month of battlin with myself.Over my career, my future, my personal needs i have finally come to put it to a full stop.Nobody is gonna pity what decision i made because im the one who allow it to happen and im the one who make the decision.Was it all fated or itz a test for me??Do life still go on as per normal??i dont know..i really dont.Career wise i have already screw up, firstly because of my court case and now i wanna leave the forces.I cant turn back time and tell everyone i dont wanna leave.Yes, 5 years of effort and tough time i gone through in the Army is goin down the drain.Regrets??No..not at all...The reason i sign on was because of somebody and now the reason i leave was also because of somebody.Stil no regrets at all.Both didnt work out.
People come and go..everyone have their own difficulties i have mine too.I got to adapt with a life without a stable income soon.Adapt to a life without control and reportin to someone of higher rankin.Certain of my dreams got to put on hold.stil no regrets.I made many mistakes in life, hurt alot of people along the way.Im sorry, sincerely sorry.Yes, sorry cant heal a broken heart but thats all i can do.22 years of my life just gone like that.I cant turn back time.Today, again i made a painful decision after fightin for like the whole mornin or even the past 3 days.No improvement but worsen.Im gonna stop, i finally understand 'what comes ard,goes ard'.Some might not forgive me for the things i done.Rate me as an idiot, heartless guy or even a bastard.I will take it without defendin myself.Should i change my thinkin??yes..i think so.I guess i must start appreciatin everyone around me before anyone can appreciate what i do.No...dont have to even appreciate what i do.No point.
It has been painful for the past few days n 1 month but i came to accept it.My sufferin is not as worse as those around me.People who are concern about me but i didnt follow their advise.I dont blame anyone.Since things has already turn out like that i have to live with it.Go back to school,upgrade some skills find a job and think again.I took everythin for granted without havin to care about others.Now it hit back on me, i felt the pain.I spent sleepless night thinkin about lots of stuff.Always thinkin 'wat if' certain things didnt happen.But we cant predict life.Maybe im really wrong, wrong in many ways.Im not askin for forgivness.whats the point??
I wanna pack my bag and go.Leave this place and never to come back again.Too much memorises that i cant get myself out of.Theres nothing left behind for me.I feel like cryin but i cant.I feel like shoutin but i cant.Im just so sick.
I wanna take this chance to apologise to everyone around me.Especially my parents.They given me support all the while but i took it for granted.when im in a bad mood i gave them a stupid attitude but they tolerated with me.Im sorry.Next, i wanna apologise to 2 ladies that have came into my life.Im sorry for not appreciatin what you guyz have done for me.The patience that you guyz shown, the support that you guyz gave but then again i didnt even realise.
Guyz, this might be my last post.I dont know if i should ever blog again.I know therez a few out there who hate me.Yes, i sucks..carry on hatin me.I wont asked for forgiveness..sometimes try puttin yourself in someone shoe and you will realise how it feels.
God bless all of you out there.Remember to appreciate someone before askin that someone to appreciate you.I made my mistake and i have learnt mine.
cheers
After 1 month of battlin with myself.Over my career, my future, my personal needs i have finally come to put it to a full stop.Nobody is gonna pity what decision i made because im the one who allow it to happen and im the one who make the decision.Was it all fated or itz a test for me??Do life still go on as per normal??i dont know..i really dont.Career wise i have already screw up, firstly because of my court case and now i wanna leave the forces.I cant turn back time and tell everyone i dont wanna leave.Yes, 5 years of effort and tough time i gone through in the Army is goin down the drain.Regrets??No..not at all...The reason i sign on was because of somebody and now the reason i leave was also because of somebody.Stil no regrets at all.Both didnt work out.
People come and go..everyone have their own difficulties i have mine too.I got to adapt with a life without a stable income soon.Adapt to a life without control and reportin to someone of higher rankin.Certain of my dreams got to put on hold.stil no regrets.I made many mistakes in life, hurt alot of people along the way.Im sorry, sincerely sorry.Yes, sorry cant heal a broken heart but thats all i can do.22 years of my life just gone like that.I cant turn back time.Today, again i made a painful decision after fightin for like the whole mornin or even the past 3 days.No improvement but worsen.Im gonna stop, i finally understand 'what comes ard,goes ard'.Some might not forgive me for the things i done.Rate me as an idiot, heartless guy or even a bastard.I will take it without defendin myself.Should i change my thinkin??yes..i think so.I guess i must start appreciatin everyone around me before anyone can appreciate what i do.No...dont have to even appreciate what i do.No point.
It has been painful for the past few days n 1 month but i came to accept it.My sufferin is not as worse as those around me.People who are concern about me but i didnt follow their advise.I dont blame anyone.Since things has already turn out like that i have to live with it.Go back to school,upgrade some skills find a job and think again.I took everythin for granted without havin to care about others.Now it hit back on me, i felt the pain.I spent sleepless night thinkin about lots of stuff.Always thinkin 'wat if' certain things didnt happen.But we cant predict life.Maybe im really wrong, wrong in many ways.Im not askin for forgivness.whats the point??
I wanna pack my bag and go.Leave this place and never to come back again.Too much memorises that i cant get myself out of.Theres nothing left behind for me.I feel like cryin but i cant.I feel like shoutin but i cant.Im just so sick.
I wanna take this chance to apologise to everyone around me.Especially my parents.They given me support all the while but i took it for granted.when im in a bad mood i gave them a stupid attitude but they tolerated with me.Im sorry.Next, i wanna apologise to 2 ladies that have came into my life.Im sorry for not appreciatin what you guyz have done for me.The patience that you guyz shown, the support that you guyz gave but then again i didnt even realise.
Guyz, this might be my last post.I dont know if i should ever blog again.I know therez a few out there who hate me.Yes, i sucks..carry on hatin me.I wont asked for forgiveness..sometimes try puttin yourself in someone shoe and you will realise how it feels.
God bless all of you out there.Remember to appreciate someone before askin that someone to appreciate you.I made my mistake and i have learnt mine.
cheers
posted by Jared Wong and Melissa Kheh at
13:04
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