failure
Yo peeps...
Once again I have failed again.Itz like the world come crushin down on me again.No matter how hard I tried, therez just no improvement at all.Itz gettin from bad to wrost.
Howz everyone out there??This week nothin big really happened, just that the 1st year commanders had their ORD parade today.When will it be my turn??Well, 5 years in service i have seen many people come and go.But today the feelin is different.This batch of commanders or friends i had went through lots with me.We went through hell together, cupboard PT, confine to bed, runs, dualthon,AHM,Lancer,Guard Duties, area cleanin, soccer,carpenter job and meals together.We have our fun times and our sad time, thou we quarrel most of the time.But untimatly we finished our task together.The 2nd year commanders im havin now just cant compared with them.We just simply dont clinque, they are in their own world and we are in our own world.Itz difficult to want to get to know them at all.Not even say talkin to them.
Sometimes, i just wonder if im fit for the job??am I mentally and physically fit for Army??Now i cant used to run as fast as i used to.Cant pull as much as i used to.Many things just get from bad to worse.Im utterly disappointed with myself.Whats wrong with me??Have i been slackin??or my mind just tellin me to give up and wait to leave when the time come??Have i given up on myself??Yes, at a certain point i do give up on myself.I cant see the light at the end of the tunnel.I need supervision, i need guidance along the way now.But then again who can i go to??Everyday i wake up without an objective but just to pass the day quickly.No, i dont have any problem with my peers.Just the little lack of physical and mental strength that is playin the trick.How can i get back on track??I dont have much time.I have a team to lead, i have to worry for their results and mine too.I have to worry about their welfare, their health and their state of mind.I cant even handle mine how am i possible to guide them??They look up to me but i choose to give myself up.
Was my concern mainly on sports now??Yes.Im tryin to escape from everythin.I want to be alone but i cant stand the quietness, then again i hate the noisy enivorment.Whats goin into me??Im so contradictin..can someone help me??Sometimes, i just go crazy.5 years dude.itz 5 years...how did i even survived so long??what will i be now if i didnt sign the contract??How will i feel and see life outside??People my age is enjoyin dude.And me, for 5 years i have been sloggin, worryin about my results plus my men results.Is this what i want??
Argh...I feel so confused.Do I really have to start beliefin in something??Start prayin to someone??Start to read the bible to calm myself down and seek help??Do i really have to go to that extend??I need miracle thats for sure.Who can i believe in??who can i go to??GOD??Satan??Humans??Animals??Just who??
Can someone just tell me who created the world??I bet your answer is 'GOD'.But who created 'him'??Yes, i know i cant have this kinda mindset anymore.I need to change that freakin thinkin.I dont know, im tired, the world seen to come against me all the time.crush me!!
Peace to the World
Once again I have failed again.Itz like the world come crushin down on me again.No matter how hard I tried, therez just no improvement at all.Itz gettin from bad to wrost.
Howz everyone out there??This week nothin big really happened, just that the 1st year commanders had their ORD parade today.When will it be my turn??Well, 5 years in service i have seen many people come and go.But today the feelin is different.This batch of commanders or friends i had went through lots with me.We went through hell together, cupboard PT, confine to bed, runs, dualthon,AHM,Lancer,Guard Duties, area cleanin, soccer,carpenter job and meals together.We have our fun times and our sad time, thou we quarrel most of the time.But untimatly we finished our task together.The 2nd year commanders im havin now just cant compared with them.We just simply dont clinque, they are in their own world and we are in our own world.Itz difficult to want to get to know them at all.Not even say talkin to them.
Sometimes, i just wonder if im fit for the job??am I mentally and physically fit for Army??Now i cant used to run as fast as i used to.Cant pull as much as i used to.Many things just get from bad to worse.Im utterly disappointed with myself.Whats wrong with me??Have i been slackin??or my mind just tellin me to give up and wait to leave when the time come??Have i given up on myself??Yes, at a certain point i do give up on myself.I cant see the light at the end of the tunnel.I need supervision, i need guidance along the way now.But then again who can i go to??Everyday i wake up without an objective but just to pass the day quickly.No, i dont have any problem with my peers.Just the little lack of physical and mental strength that is playin the trick.How can i get back on track??I dont have much time.I have a team to lead, i have to worry for their results and mine too.I have to worry about their welfare, their health and their state of mind.I cant even handle mine how am i possible to guide them??They look up to me but i choose to give myself up.
Was my concern mainly on sports now??Yes.Im tryin to escape from everythin.I want to be alone but i cant stand the quietness, then again i hate the noisy enivorment.Whats goin into me??Im so contradictin..can someone help me??Sometimes, i just go crazy.5 years dude.itz 5 years...how did i even survived so long??what will i be now if i didnt sign the contract??How will i feel and see life outside??People my age is enjoyin dude.And me, for 5 years i have been sloggin, worryin about my results plus my men results.Is this what i want??
Argh...I feel so confused.Do I really have to start beliefin in something??Start prayin to someone??Start to read the bible to calm myself down and seek help??Do i really have to go to that extend??I need miracle thats for sure.Who can i believe in??who can i go to??GOD??Satan??Humans??Animals??Just who??
Can someone just tell me who created the world??I bet your answer is 'GOD'.But who created 'him'??Yes, i know i cant have this kinda mindset anymore.I need to change that freakin thinkin.I dont know, im tired, the world seen to come against me all the time.crush me!!
Peace to the World
posted by Jared Wong and Melissa Kheh at
22:22
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